Can I Save My Marriage?
Posted by admin on January 10th, 2009
It’s a sad fact that over half of the couples that get married, also get divorced later on. Many couples probably wonder if there is a way to save their marriage, and the truth is, it can be done. Filing for divorce is not a solution when a marriage has entered into rough waters. Both partners must be fully committed to saving the relationship, and if that is the case then divorce should not even be in your vocabulary.
Counseling is the first step that you could take to try and save your marriage. Even though you may wonder if counseling is really for you, no one is above counseling. Counseling is the use of a mediator in helping a couple deal with their relationship issues. If you are really asking yourself, “Can I save my marriage?”, then counseling should definitely be an option.
In addition to marriage counseling, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage. Both parts of the couple must work toward the desired goal of saving the marriage, and the process will be made that much easier. If you are seriously asking yourself, “Can I save my marriage?”, then follow the steps below, and commit to doing what it takes to make your marriage stronger than ever.
There is No Perfect Marriage
Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, and there will be conflict, but instead of letting it tear your marriage apart, you should use it to make your marriage that much stronger. For a marriage to succeed, the husband and wife must learn to deal with the trying times, and overcome their problems. Do not seek perfection. No one person is perfect, so we cannot expect a marriage to be perfect when to imperfect people come together. Everyone makes mistakes. Work with your spouse and overcome the problems that you face, and you will realize it is possible to not only save your marriage, but have a fantastic marriage.
Communication is Key
You and your spouse must have excellent communication, or your marriage is going to suffer no matter what. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The most important thing is to be honest with your spouse. Share your thoughts, share your feelings, but be loving and respective at the same time.
Win With Compromise
Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with husband and wife, and their interests. Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give, and times when you have to give in order to make the marriage work.
Be Committed
In any marriage, your spouse needs to know that you are committed. If you are a husband you need to be committed to loving your wife. If you are a wife you need to be committed to respecting your husband. Saving your marriage, and keeping your marriage alive will involve commitment. You both must make things work together, or you risk the chance of working against one another, or even losing each other.
Marriages will incur damages, and no matter what you do, nothing will be able to change that. Divorce should not be your answer, so don’t even think about divorce. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and you will be able to save your marriage. Getting through the tough times will make your marriage even stronger. It will take work…a lot of work, but when you and your spouse work together you can both have the marriage that you really want.
You don’t need to be perfect. Be committed, be able to communicate, be willing to compromise, and be in love. Love is a choice, therefore, you can choose to love your spouse. Choose today to love your spouse, and choose not only to save your marriage, but make it work each and every day.
Dave Earley
http://www.howcanigetmyexbacknow.com
Yes, communication between the married couple is an important aspect of marriage, but there has to be love..
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I liked the content of your blog and the points you have mention like no perfect marriage, communication, compromise, and the most effective tip to save a marriage is be committed. Good reminder about be committed, be able to communicate, be willing to compromise, and be in love.
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I liked what you said but what if only one spouse wants to save marriage. I love my husband but he filed for divorce, moved out and does not want me to call or email him. This sounds pretty hopelesss. I wish I could turn back time but saying should have, would have, could have does do any good at this point. I still hope.
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admin Reply:
April 16th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Irina, I’m sorry to hear that. Even if only one spouse desires to save the relationship there is still hope. However, since your husband has taken such drastic action already, you will most likely need to give him his space.
You might try writing him a letter about your feelings, but other than that you should probably leave him alone for now, or you could risk making things worse. Make no mistake, I’m no marriage counselor or anything, there are some resources you could try like the magic of making up ebook, or the save my marriage ecourse, or you could just talk to me by using the contact button at the top of the page, if you wanted.
From what you have said, I take it you husband isn’t open to any kind of counseling or anything like that?
Dave
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Thank you for your reply! I wrote him letters and this did not bring any positive results. Maybe I even pushed him away further. I can not change the past and what I did or did not so I am just going to leave him alone, respect his request not to contact him and hope time will help. Right now we communicate through lawyers and my lawyer told me that the court can help me to get hree marriage counseling sessions with my husband ( divorce code). However, I do realize that if he is forced to go there may be no positive results but I still think there is hope.
Thank you again.
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admin Reply:
April 16th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
While I do not believe that time changes feelings, I do believe that we need to spend some time alone in thought sometimes, especially if someone has been hurt.
I’m sure there was a reason that both of you were together in the first place, and you will probably have to get back to that place, if possible. Counseling would definitely be an opening for that.
In any event, I pray that things will work out for the best for both of you.
Take care, and be blessed.
Dave
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Hi Dave,
Thank you for your words. I agree he needs time to cool off and and think it over. If I keep chasing him with my calls or emails he will just run away.
I think he is angry at me and I think it is a good sign because any kind of emotion is better then complete lack of emotions. Am I right?
Thank you.
Irina
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admin Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I can agree with that. Being lukewarm is definitely the worst possibility, so some emotion may be better than no emotion. We just have to hope he doesn’t want to remain mad at you for a long time.
Take some time to think for yourself about what you would like to do and what you might eventually need to do. If you did something wrong and tried to make things right, then there’s not much more you can do. He will either have to accept that or not.
If you really want things to work out, then I’d say there’s still hope. Just let the situation calm down a bit and try to remain as content as possible. With contentment comes great gain.
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